This week while I have been in lock down I am reminded of why being a mother is so much fun and so hard. I SWORE I would never say the things my mother said to me. I watched other children in restaurants and grocery stores and SWORE that would never be MY child. Well know I tell my children the same things my mother said and MY children act worse then any kid I have ever seen in public. And it is alright with me. They are mine for this short time here on earth and for that I am blessed and crazy. These are the things I have heard me say lately.
Put the scissors down slowly.
Who threw up in this toilet and when?
Did you wipe?
Did you wash your hands?
No you can not walk to the neighbors naked. Because you are a girl and even if you were a boy you would still need clothes.
Yes God hears your prayers.
Ketchup and ranch are not vegetables.
Do not let Yoda lick your teeth. Because you will get worms. No, not worms for fishing.
Paint can openers are not bath toys.
Scoot over because it is my bed that is why.
Stop jumping on the couch. No it is not a make believe trampoline. No we are not getting another trampoline. Because you have friends with trampolines.
Please throw up in the bowl and not on the sheets.
No you do not need a bandaid for your head. Maybe you should stop screaming and it would not hurt.
Just because her last name is Hale does not mean you can not be friends with her. No her last name is not a BAD word.
If he has snot coming out of his nose, you do not have to play with him.
If you hit each other with the drum sticks again, Rock Band is my toy.
Because this is a family day and you will have fun whether you like it or not.
Don't make me repeat myself!
Who threw up in this toilet and when?
Did you wipe?
Did you wash your hands?
No you can not walk to the neighbors naked. Because you are a girl and even if you were a boy you would still need clothes.
Yes God hears your prayers.
Ketchup and ranch are not vegetables.
Do not let Yoda lick your teeth. Because you will get worms. No, not worms for fishing.
Paint can openers are not bath toys.
Scoot over because it is my bed that is why.
Stop jumping on the couch. No it is not a make believe trampoline. No we are not getting another trampoline. Because you have friends with trampolines.
Please throw up in the bowl and not on the sheets.
No you do not need a bandaid for your head. Maybe you should stop screaming and it would not hurt.
Just because her last name is Hale does not mean you can not be friends with her. No her last name is not a BAD word.
If he has snot coming out of his nose, you do not have to play with him.
If you hit each other with the drum sticks again, Rock Band is my toy.
Because this is a family day and you will have fun whether you like it or not.
Don't make me repeat myself!
So what are you saying to your kiddos this week?
5 comments:
How did poop get there?
Put the Sharpie down.
No you can NOT wear your wife beater undershirt to school.
Get your hands out of the toilet bowl!
These are just today...
**If you do not put your pants back on, I am gonna pinch that hiney.
**Are we outside right now? Then why are you using your outside voice?
**You cannot just go sit on the potty every three minutes because you want a piece of candy.
LOVE IT! I am cracking up. My fav is no you dont have to play with someone who has snot!!
Are you using a lightsaber with a back scratcher taped to it to get a snack out of the cabinet?
please don't lick your sister.
Post a Comment