You keep track of all my sorrows;
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
Let me first say I am thankful for a God who collects my tears. At times when words can not console and nothing seems to make the pain stop, knowing I have a God who keeps track of all my sorrows provides a peace that surpasses all understaning.
I went in today because my ankle needed to be re-wrapped to 90 degrees. I have been able to put weight on the ankle and walk around yesterday and today. I was on a high from that accomplishment. I met with the P.A. who assisted in my surgery only to be given the "reality" of my situation.
1. Bone fusion will have to happen in the immediate future due to arthritis and how the bones are growing farther apart.
2. I will permantly walk with a limp
3. I will permatly loose left to right mobility of the ankle
4. Next surgery will have a mandatory 3-4 day hospital stay
5. 8 weeks of a hard cast
6. 4-6 weeks in a boot
7. Physical therapy
If I could have run out of that office I would have...but I can't run. I can't walk fast. I have been chosen to carry this battle. I have been chosen. This summer husband and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. We have a trip planned with kids in June. In July we had hoped to celebrate with a trip and recently decided we would spend that trip on a Mission trip. We had made plans to get our passports and start asking God where He wanted to send us. God chose to overwrite our plans for His plans. I know many people that read these words may not be saved. I know many people that read these words may question why a God who loves me choose pain for me.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.
I believe Romans 8:28. I believe something that is hard and painful can be turned into good for His glory. I believe through my tears and pain, God will use my suffering. My reward as a Christ follower is eternity. So today, I feel like I can't breath. Fear of the pain and trail that lay before me almost take me over but I still have hope...my hope is in the Lord.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.