Friday, July 11, 2008

Like mother, Like son

I can't believe I am about to share these stories. So let me talk about son first. On the way home from Knoxville we stopped at a Cracker Barrel to eat supper. Son and daughter love to get candy after dinner at Cracker Barrel. Usually it is the stick sucker things. But on this occasion Big League Chew was the choice. As we were back in the car driving I hear son say, "Oh no!" I turn around and see this . . .

Gum on the eyelid. Gun in the eye lashes. I then have to crawl to the back of the car and try to pull the gum off. Big League Chew . . . very sticky. I then tell husband the only thing I know to do is use peanut butter. He screams NO. Son is allergic and we don't know where the closest hospital is at the time. As son screams at me, I slowly work the gum off his eyelashes with a wet wipe. After I am finished I say, "Why?" His reply, "I thought it would be funny."

Well the apple does not fall far from the tree. I have started a new "diet" along with lots of visits to the gym. I meet with a counselor and a nutritionist. They have convinced me I am one pound away for gastric bypass. I have lost six pounds in a week. I also dreamed the other night I was eating McDonald's french fries with lots of ketchup and woke up in a sweat. So yesterday after running(interval walking/running) 2.5 miles on the treadmill, I decided I needed weights too since I am so OBESE. Well lets just say, I decided to do this thing where you are hanging parallel to the floor by your feet and you have to use your ab muscles to pull you up. Not only was this my first time but I decided I would do it holding a 25 pound weight. NOT A GOOD IDEA. I got stuck. I mean like,stuck, can't move, need assistance, stuck. I muster up enough strength to notice no one is upstairs where I am so I am in the clear with embarrassment. But then I think should I call for help? Answer:"Absolutely NOT." I don't know how long I hung there but I do know I finally decided to drop the weight and kinda fall of the apparatus. I am sure the gym has it on video and if it winds up on America's funniest home video, I will die. Why did I do it? "I thought it was a good idea."

In other news, we have been gone so much lately that we seem to have acquired a new house guest. A MOUSE. My bug man is coming back again today to try to catch the rodent. The kids are scared to go to any room alone. I won't walk in the dark. I am threatening to move until it is captured. It is partying at night which totally grosses me out. My bug man thinks I have no sense. I told him to come today and not plan on leaving until he has it in his hands. I told son to stop playing the Ratatouille video game because I fear the mouse might think we are fond of rodents and we are so not. So son tells daughter if she dresses up with him the mouse will be scared and run away. Here are my rat fighting pair.


Tricia said...

Oh Marsha!! You are just too funny, I love your stories, you always have some drama going on! We miss you all and would love to see you sometime!


Mommy of Three said...

Ok, that's hilarious! I think you really could win $10,000!