Friday, May 28, 2010

List

I have a list of wants.
I have a list of what I can't do anymore.
I have a calendar in my head marking off the days until I walk again. Until I don't have to ask for help. Until I don't have to ask for something to drink. Until I can start my own shower. Until I can pick up my crying child. Until I can wash clothes. Until I can cook.

But I wait and try to block out those list and come up with new list. Can you laugh at my Type A personality and my list? I need new list. List of what God is teaching me. I never saw myself as impatient. But as I wait for a drink or help to move my leg...I see my heart and how before the accident I rushed through life. Rushed to serve. Rushed to get through my daily list of must do's. Skipping over the important things. The faces I clean dirt off might just needed a kiss too. I don't deserve to ask God why...and I believe His plan is best. I believe He finally has me still. So I am learning how to be still and find happiness in this moment. I am learning how to be a mommy in this condition. I am learning how to be a wife in this condition. I am learning how to be a friend in this condition. I need your prayers...

2 comments:

Tricia said...

Praying for you sweet friend... be still and listen for His voice, let Him work and be glorified through this...

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting ALL your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for YOU. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. And after you have suffered for a little, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."
1 Peter 5:6-11

Love you friend, call me when you need me, anytime : )

J-Mo said...

I'm praying for you daily Marsha... I love you and I know God is doing a great work in the midst of your trial. He will be glorified in all things!

Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.